Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Warm Weather + Atley = Catastrophe

Actually, you could substitute just about anything in place of "warm weather" in the above equation and get the same outcome. The weekend was gorgeous and the boys spent most of their time outside. It was wonderful until Atley decided to climb a tree to talk to our neighbor over the fence. The branch he was standing on broke and when the bough breaks the Atley will fall. He landed on his left foot and let out a blood curdling scream. Honestly, my first thought was, "Oh, thank goodness he didn't land on his head again." I also remember Nash saying, "Oh crap mom, Atley broke his leg."

Anyway, I waited until Monday morning to take him to the doctor. Of course he couldn't put any weight on the foot so I had to carry him and try to keep track of Nash all while balancing the most enormous belly since the Octomom. At one point Nash wiggled away from my firmly grasped hand and bolted for the parking lot after which the 5 year old on my back exclaimed, "You better watch him better mom or he's gonna be at the doctor next because he got hit by a car." Thanks Atley!! First stop, pediatrician. He examined Atley and concluded that in his opinion two bones were broken in the foot but he would have to see a radiologist. He concluded by asking, "Any questions?" Nash replied by saying, "Can you please get the baby out of my momma now?" The doctor just laughed and started to leave when Nash stopped him by saying, "Hey, you forgot to give my brother a shot. He needs a hundred. He has been really bad."
Next stop, across town to the radiologist. Apparently, me carrying Atley and Atley getting so much attention was about all Nash could handle because he was horrible. He refused to get out of the car, so I was forced to carry both of them in a torrential rain storm while Nash screamed and kicked like a man possessed. We were quite a spectacle as we burst into the radiologist's office soaking wet and crying. Nash finally calmed down and asked for a drink. I gave him some water that he spilled. Then he had a tantrum and declared to the full waiting room that he wanted "hot coffee." The receptionist looked at me cross and said, "You have these twins and now your pregnant again. Lord bless you." I didn't have the courage to confess that the boys weren't twins. I was too embarrassed to comment at all. The nurse finally called Atley's name at which time Nash immediately began demanding that Atley get a hundred shots. The radiologist began asking Atley questions like what do you want to be when you grow up. Atley replied with, "I'm going to be the president." Radiologist: "Wow, are you going to give your brother a job." Atley: "Yeah, I'm gonna make him Secretary of State so that I can send him away to Japan." After X-rays another drive across town to visit the Orthopaedic Pediatrician. Conclusion, the injury was not castable but he must wear a brace and stay off of it for at least a week. They wouldn't prescribe crutches in fear that he would just fall off of those and injure himself worse. They suggested I send him to school in a stroller. They obviously don't know Atley very well. He fusses about everything he wears in an effort to impress his classmates. There is no way I am getting him to school in a baby stroller.

So, he is home today and I carry him most places or he crawls with his left foot draped over his right heel and every once in awhile Nash will try to jump on his back for a ride and chaos will ensue. Someday when they are raised with little families of their own, I may look back on this day and laugh. I am just afraid that a more likely scenario will be that they will be in the State Penitentiary and I will look back on this day and cry.
Last night when they were both finally asleep and I laid down to relax and to watch Dancing with the Stars, I had an anxiety attack when I remembered that in a month I would have another. If Nash's behavior was any indication of how he will react when he is not getting all the attention I am in serious trouble. Everyone says things like, "Oh, she will be so sweet and calm." But, she can't possibly be, and if she is, she will never survive a childhood in the same house as Atley and Nash.
The one shining moment in my long day was when Atley made the statement, "Wow, it sure is a good thing that Heavenly Father protects me or I would be dead already." Yeah, Atley it sure is a good thing!!


Tracy said...

It's a good thing you write these things down, because they are hilarious, and make great stories to tell to future wives and grandkids one day. So sad that YOU have to endure these things though. Hoping your life becomes a little slower and easier, maybe Atley's foot will be a blessing in disguise if it slows him down some and makes him more cautious. :)

GO Gray's said...

Can I come and stay with your family for a week and observe. Your oldest sounds like a corker and I'd love to just sit and watch him all day long!!!

The Driggs said...

Okay Melisa...I had to come and read this post because I promised Mandy Fonoimoana that I would! I was visiting teaching her, and she shared this story with us. She told me I had to go home and read it (because we both agreed we LOVE how you write)! Well, I got home late and got busy with my church calling. I saw Mandy the next night and she said, "Did you read Melisa's post?" I told her I hadn't yet and she made me PROMISE her that I would. I am so sorry you had to go through with all of that, but I must say that I had some "out loud laughs" when I read this. You are doing great!!! Just keep it up, and I KNOW Harley is gonna be so sweet.

Kristin said...

You're great Melisa. At least your children don't scream "I don't need anything!" or "Don't touch me. I said I'm fine!"...right in your face. And then finish it off with a sippy cup thrown at the wall. Kids are so much fun aren't they?

Shae said that you might be coming this summer. That's really exciting. Can't wait to see you.

Roscoe and Daisy said...

That Atley boy is a crack up! It is a good thing HF protects him he has had a lot of accidents! Yes, be prepared for Nash to be horrible for another year. Konnor was quite the pill when I had Kollin but he was definately worth it because he is so sweet so I am sure Harley will be too!

lydia said...

Melisa - I know I am WAY behind on this one becuase this all happened over a month ago. But, I just had to write and give you virtual HUGS! You are an amazing woman! Those boys are so lucky to have you. I love the way you write as well. You know what, after nearly going over the deep end with Ian, my baby Raegan has been the sweetest most blessed baby in all the world. I'm sure your little one will be too. Good luck!