Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Wishing my life away!

Do you ever find yourself wishing your life away? I find that I am always wishing for something different than the realities of the present. I catch myself saying, I wish it were summer. I wish it were the weekend. I wish the car were paid off. I wish the boys were more independent. I wish this baby was here! And the wishes go on and on.
On Monday I took the boys to the park. This was the first time in almost six months of winter that we were able to enjoy this activity. As I watched them play and more importantly as I struggled to keep up with them in my condition, I began to think about something Scott told me a few days previous. I am sure I must have been complaining about something and wishing that this pregnancy was over. He never says much so I try to listen when he actually does. Scott said, "This is it, Melisa. You will never be pregnant again! This is the last 8 weeks that you will ever have to do this. You should try to enjoy it!" At the time I thought to myself, "Obviously, you have never been pregnant!"
But, several days later, while at the park, I realized he was right. I doubt I will ever feel any nostalgia about pregnancy. However, I will feel nostalgic about the time when Atley and Nash were 3 and 5, when Nash was my baby and Atley still needed me. When baby Harley was as close to my heart as she could possibly be and all my grandparent's and my parents were alive and doing well. Someday I will miss the days when I had to deal with grated cheese food fights and tiny fingerprints all over the walls and windows. I will miss hearing the word "Mommy!" two or three hundred times a day and all the chaos and noise that seem to be ever present in our home.
Life is about to change and while I am excited and I welcome those changes with outstretched arms, I am going to try to enjoy this time with just my boys. I am going to try to enjoy the little baby safely tucked inside my tummy where she is protected from those same little boys and the rest of the world too. I am going to stop wishing my life away and enjoy the realities of the present.





10 comments:

GO Gray's said...

very sweet Melissa.

Thefab4 said...

Thanks Melisa! I myself needed to hear that and be reminded. I even got a lump in my throat.
Love your posts! Rock on these last few weeks. I can't wait to see little Miss. Harley! She will be beautiful!!!! :)

April said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
April said...

Thanks for the perspective! I miss you! I'm glad that I'm not the only one feeling this way. :) Hopefully we'll get to see that cute little Harley this summer along with her handsome brothers!

The Driggs said...

You are a wise woman! I have random moments where I stop wishing for something different, and instead wish that things don't change. But like I said, those are random. One day we'll wish we could go back to the way things were (at least I know my body will)! Hope you are feeling well. I can't wait to see pics of baby Harley when she arrives. You guys make the cutest kids and choose the cutest names.

Tracy said...

I often get caught "wishing" for better times, like having my kids not so dependant on me for everything, wishing my other half would help more, etc, etc. I'm wishing for warmer weather, but then I think of all the snow you guys have seen :) But I also know that I'll miss these days when my kids are so young and precious, and miss holding my babies in my arms. Thanks for posting because I realize I'm not the only one, and for the positive outlook on the present. I can't wait to see how cute your little girl will be.

Kristin said...

Great post. It's so hard to get overwhelmed with our lives. Thanks for the reminder. :)

Roscoe and Daisy said...

I think we can all relate to what you have been feeling and what you are feeling. So this is the last kid, huh?! Lucky you that it was a girl. I am prego again and having a boy. 4 boys-wish me luck! :)

G&G said...

Love your posts, finally found your blog after the rebuild on our computer. Hopefully the next 8 weeks will be full of fond memories. Boy, Nash stays right there with Atley. Love how the younger brothers don't seem to realize the differences and try so hard.

The Hasletts said...

Ok, I finally got on a min. It should definitely be Harley Anne-way too cute. I'm glad you're doing well. Miss you tons, girl!