This post is dedicated to my son who has been recently called Beaver Boy because of his gorgeous front chompers. As you can see he has embraced this new nickname by gnawing on the wood molding in our home. I can think of a few better names for this mean little kid. Nash has been a bit more vocal lately. Translation: Nash has said a bunch of embarrassing things lately. I am going to share four of them so that they can forever be chronicled in the everlasting annuls of the Internet. Warning: Some of the information shared below may be considered too obscene for some audiences.
1. Nash accidentally threw a football over the fence into the neighbor's yard. Our neighbor is a super nice man but for some reason Nash was terrified to ask for his ball back. He finally recruited his brother to go with him to knock on the neighbor's door. Of course the neighbor was nice and returned Nash's football. This neighbor is also an older gentleman. He is quite tall, very thin and completely bald. As Nash was thanking him and leaving the neighbor's house I hear him yell back, "Thanks again and I really hope your cancer gets better!" The neighbor does not have cancer.
2. Nash was invited to a paint ball birthday party. He was so excited despite my warning that paint balls hurt when they hit you. As we walked the little boys up to the paint ball course, I could hear Nash talking trash to his buddies about how he was going to destroy them. Less than 5 seconds into the first round Nash was shot directly into his manhood. At which point he began rolling around the ground screaming, "My nuts! My nuts! You shot off my nuts!" He began pulling off his clothes and yelling for me, "Mom, I can't look! Please help me! Look and see if I still have my nuts!" I checked and they were in tact. He did not believe my reassurances but was too afraid to look himself, certain that they were either missing or bleeding. In front of a crowd of parents he asked me to describe them to him so that he could know for sure if they were okay. I just walked away shaking my head. 30 seconds later he was screaming again. "My nipple! You shot off my nipple!"
Despite his uncanny ability to tease and embarrass me on occasion, I love him so very much and I adore the card he made me for Mother's Day!