Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Confession Time

I need to lose 25 pounds and I am finally ready to admit it.  When Nash was about a year old I found my perfect weight.  I wasn’t dieting just nursing.  I wasn’t back to my high school weight, didn’t really want to be, but I was 25 pounds lighter than I am now.  It was great. I had energy and I felt comfortable in my clothes, not to mention my skin.  Well, here I am 4 years older with another baby and the heaviest I have ever been (not counting during or after pregnancy).  I didn’t realize how much weight I had gained because I avoided scales like the plague.  I kept seeing pictures of myself and convincing myself that it was a terrible camera angle. I even threw away a pair of jeans that were just UNFLATTERING! However, I knew that my clothes didn’t fit the same way, even my wedding ring was tight. My fingers didn’t wrap around my wrists or thighs the way that they used to, but I assumed I had gained about five pounds. So, I exercised, somewhat sporadically, and I read a book called French Women Don’t Get Fat.
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 This book has some good ideas about eating smaller portions more slowly.  But, then there were some totally unrealistic things like never eating in the car and sitting down for each meal with a linen table cloth and china, or going the market each day and only buying fresh food.  Well, the author apparently never had kids or a life on the go.  But, the book did encourage me to get real about my weight and to realize that 80% of weight loss begins in the kitchen not on the treadmill.
 I found myself at Costco about 10 days ago and like divine intervention the scales were on sale.  I got on the said scale, right there in the store, and it took all my courage to hold back the tears when I read the numbers flashing in front of me.  I made Nash get on the scale to make sure that it was correct.  It seemed to be, but maybe it was meaner to girls, so I pulled Harley out of the cart and made her weigh too.  Apparently, the scale wasn’t sexist.  I had gained 15 pounds in the past six months.  Look, I realize that there are worse things in life.  Maybe this problem is a little petty in the grand scheme of things and truth be told, if I am going to die tomorrow, I sure as heck am not going to diet today.  But, then I thought, if I continue with this trend I will have gained 300 pounds in 10 years.  SCARY! You know those little charts that give you a healthy weight range based on your age, height and body type; for the first time in my life I was no longer within my healthy weight range.  So, I bought the stupid scale and I decided that I had to do something. I want to get back to the 25 pound lighter me that I remember from 4 years ago, the one that would go to the beach or the pool and actually take off her sundress.  So, just like the children’s book…
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 If you give a mom a scale, she is going to need a serious diet to
go with it.

First, I found a great WEBSITE. 
It is a lot like Weight Watchers Online, but free.  The sight allows you to log your current weight, the amount you would like to lose and then provides a healthy amount of time that it should take you to lose the weight.  You can also put in your own date and it will calculate how many calories you should consume to achieve your goals. You can log the food you eat and it calculates the number of calories.  You can also log your activity and it will also figure out the calories burned.  You can even keep track of how much water you are drinking. To meet my goals I can only consume about 1100 calories per day, which is about 2/3 less than what I had been eating.  Does it suck?  Someday’s more than others, but with each day I am successful I get a little more confident that I can meet my goals. I feel like I am also learning something, although embarrassing to admit, about what foods are fattening and not good for you. I honestly never read the back of the box.  I had no idea just how fattening whole milk was until I put my first cup into my food log and realized that maybe I needed to buy some skim.    
Second, exercise! While I am learning that exercise isn’t as important as what I eat, it can boost my metabolism and give me the energy I need to keep going.  I have also learned that just running or just doing aerobics or yoga isn’t the best thing for my body. Rather I need to change it up!  Not only does this keep me from getting bored it keeps my body on guard and away from exercise ruts. For example, running three miles when you are out of shape burns a substantial more amount of calories than running three miles does when you are skinny and in great shape.  That is why you need to mix it up and keep challenging yourself. 
Third, I find myself obsessively weighing, sometimes twice a day.  But, I am learning that women especially have weight fluctuations throughout the day and of course, throughout the month.  I am trying to only weigh myself once per week, at the same time of day, and always wearing the same clothes.
After 7 days of diet and exercise I have lost 3.2 pounds.  I had some challenges this weekend called the Super Bowl and eating out, but I am trying to get re-motivated this week.  I have had very little sugar and after a few days of migraines, I feel much better than I did even 3 pounds ago.  I have evil thoughts sometimes, like, “What is the point of all this?” and “If this is what life is going to be like forever, I would rather be fat.”  Then I remind myself that the dieting part is only temporary until I reach my goal.  Maintaining my weight won’t be quite so limiting and hopefully, I will have developed a new lifestyle and a greater idea of what foods to avoid and which to indulge.
Why am I airing out all of my XXL dirty laundry?  Mainly, for accountability. The blog provides me a place to report my good news each week and I would hate to disappoint.  Wish me luck! 


Wendi said...

Good luck Melissa. I do gave one questions though, are you sure your high school weight is the weight to have as your goal, I weighed from 103-118 in high school and well that's way under my recommended body weight for someone 5'9". I think i would totally look anarexic at that :)

You setting a goal is great, I have my goal set on 12 lbs, good luck!

Shannon said...

GOOD LUCK! You're awesome, Melisa. And you have the funniest blog; seriously. You could write a humor column.

Bisel Family said...

Good luck. I am working hard to lose my baby weight. Yep, my baby is 2 years old, and I am still working on it. ARgh. We can totally do it!

Tracy said...

Way to motivate yourself! You can do it. Exercise is so important as well as eating healthy, and I agree changing it up keeps your body fit. I tried Zumba to change it up and I love it, so fun! I love to read your essays, so funny and real - I laughed out loud on the evil thoughts part :)