Thursday, August 8, 2013

The Foam Dough Experiment: A Psychoanalysis

Hypothesis:  Crafting Foam Dough with young children will aid in the prediction of certain future personality disorders or behavioral dysfunctions.

Subject #1 Observations:  Claimed to enjoy the dough but displayed a contradictory look of disgust upon his face throughout experiment. Felt compelled to taste it.  Quickly engineered a battle ship and just as quickly lost interest in the activity. Returned later to help clean up the mess without being asked. Claimed he felt guilty about leaving his mother to do all the work.
Subject #2 Observations:  Began quietly playing in a contented manner.  As if triggered but an unforeseen force, subject began referring to the dough as various bodily excretions.  His excitement could not be contained to a chair and subject climbed on top of the table smearing dough all over himself.
  Subject #3 Observations:  Enjoyed the squishy feeling between her fingers.  Feigned an injury when other subjects were perceived to receive more attention than she.  Used dough to pretend she was a zombie getting ready to "munch on your brains!"
Further Observations of Subject #2 & #3:  Subjects were discovered stripping off their clothes and climbing into a sink together using it as a small bathtub.  When Subject #2 entered the warm water he lost his ability to control his bladder, spraying urine throughout the kitchen.

Conclusion:  Seek professional help for the children as soon as possible and advise parents to begin regular regimen of XANAX.
To conduct a Foam Dough experiment in your home combine equal parts corn starch and shaving cream with a drop or two of food coloring.


The Hasletts said...

Thanks for the laughs. You are a good momma! Miss ya.

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