Friday, January 9, 2009

New Business Venture

People pay a pretty penny to have some guy come and inspect their home. Whether they are thinking about purchasing or are concerned about the integrity of their current home, the goal of a home inspector is to ensure that this home is a good investment and/or structurally sound. But, if you want a pair of great home inspectors with real-world experience just call the Butler Brothers at 1-800-DIS-ASTER.
Their mother will promptly drop them off and it should only take about one hour for you to determine whether your prospective purchase or even your current home will last through even the worst natural disasters. Did I mention that they work cheap? Atley only requires a quarter per visit and Nash will work for food. The following are just a few of their specialities-all of which have been demonstrated with great proficiency in our own home this week.

1. The Butler Brothers are excellent at inspecting cabinetry. They do this by climbing on and in all cabinets to test their strength and quality. Their specialty is a Lazy Susan strength and speed challenge. This experiment is conducted by emptying the cabinet of all contents. Then the boys will climb in, each on a different level and spin as quickly as possible. If the cabinet, all Lazy Susan mechanisms, and both children are still in one piece, your cabinet passed with flying colors.

2. Testing the durability of door handles. The boys have super-human strength and will pull off any handle that is not installed properly.

3. The quality of your plumbing will be tested by flushing various items down your toilet including, but not limited to diapers, pencils, blocks, and matchbox cars. In addition to this plumbing test, Nash will poop in the bathtub and then proceed to push his waste down the drain.

4. Is your wood floor properly sealed? The Butler Brothers will determine this by spilling a large amount of Clorox upon it.

5. Should you really spring for the scotch guard protection on your new carpeting? They can show you if this investment is worth your hard earned dollars by spilling chocolate milk and blueberry juice upon it.

6. Should you purchase a home painted with "scrubable" paint? The Butler Brothers can easily test the quality of your paint with a number of tests or should I say disgusting experiments.


The Anderson's said...

OUCH!!! You have to admit, they are still pretty dang cute! Besides, what would the rest of us do for a good laugh if they were not a little naughty!! Tell them they are hired!

Brett said...

I have a quarter and some food....when are they available. We just got new windows, you didn't mention anything, but can they test windows?

Roscoe and Daisy said...

Konnor today just took sissors to my new refridgetor we purchased last summer. I was so mad he is my naughty, mischevious boy he writes on my carpet with markers. So I will send Konnor over to join the Butler Brothers Inspection Team. He will be a great addition to see if a house is quality structured for kids!
By the way your blogs make me laugh and smile! Thanks I needed it today!

Rick and April said...

What a great ad for the Butler Brothers services--I'll hire them. :) Sounds like they've kept you busy this week...hopefully you are still sane. I don't know what it is about little boys and naughtiness but you should know that you are not alone! I know that I'll be in serious trouble once Sammy is old enough to get into trouble with Tyce. It's hard enough just keeping up with one troublemaker so I really do feel for you. :)

Kristin said...

You are too funny. I think the Butler Brothers are just about the cutest thing. Do they do house calls in Colorado?